despite the reclining, mealtimes are not relaxing & informal, but there is a strict hierarchy to hand-washing, reclining and leading.
and leading is not something one volunteers for.
(amongst the discussion about the order of who does what, there is one story of R. Zeira recovering from illness passing up leading the blessings. and a student trembles when told to wash his hands, in the fear that he has done something terribly wrong. for english translation of this talmud page, see here)