kiddushin 11

hidden things
the cohen who can't see his bride's defects,
and the bride who can't see how much she is being offered.

they can choose to settle for less if everything is revealed.

kiddushin 10

has he finished yet?
is he done?

or is it not too late to accept another offer.
little girls, and their fathers, can be so fickle.

kiddushin 9

pay first - then sleep with her any way that you want.
you're the buyer.
- but if she wants to buy something, don't be a dick, just sell it to her. no extras.

kiddushin 8

it is up to her to accept what is being offered,
if it is more or less her price -

(and if she keeps it or not)

kiddushin 7

the money that doesn't need to be his,
and it doesn't have to go to her,
but it has to be for all of her she has her own mind.

even if he's not fully committed.

kiddushin 6

he buys her with the gift that can't be returned -
even if there is no explanation.



This pages discuss the declaration that he makes to the woman as an act of kiddushin, and if alternative versions are also valid. One suggested wording is: Behold you are my rib... not the most romantic of marriage statements. but less sinister than "you are my seized one." But does he always need to make a clear statement. Context is everything. R. Yose's opinion is that if the man and woman were in a conversation about marriage, and then he gives her the money, or something of value, then an explicit explanation is not necessary. Also on this page is the status of the money, or item of value. He has to own it, not a loan, or a gift he has to give back and only borrows for the purpose of kiddushin. This is in contrast to the etrog, which can be temporarily gifted so that another can do the mitzvah. On condition that it is returned. But with kiddushin, a woman cannot be brought in a cheap exchange.

kiddushin 5

sex, money & document
but where does chupah fit in?

she has to be willing.
there's no talking, no giving.
just silent, and receiving.

the talmud discusses the three methods of kiddushin - sex, money and written document. R. Huna suggests chupah as an additional method of kiddushin. and then spends much time discussing how chupah is similar or different to the other three, one interesting comment is that in marriage both parties have to be willing. The talmud then discusses how the acquisition happens with money. He gives her money, or something of value, and declares that she is now his. the second part notes that if she gives him, or makes a declaration, then this is invalid. She has to turn up and be willingly under chupah. The object of sales is rarely a speaking role. 

On the bright side, I'm really enjoying playing with banknote imagery and patterns. 

kiddushin 4

by sex, money or writing, the girl who is just all grown up is transferred. 

only the freed slave girl is free. 

and her work is hers.

Marriage is done by sex, money or written document. a young woman, a na'arah, leaves her father's house to go to her husband. The produce from her work belongs to her father and then to her husband. in contrast the freed slave girl when she becomes a na'arah just leaves. 
 

kiddushin 3

pay the father. 

but when slavery and rape are the comparative cases, need to go back to the books.

 this page discusses the source for why the money for kiddushin should go to the girl's father, and not to the girl. It is compared to rape, where the father would receive the penalty payment. And to the freed slave girl, who is redeemed on becoming mature, and she leaves without money. no payment is made for her to leave. Unlike the daughter where money is paid. Also on this page is discussed a different type of acquisition called an exchange, but this is not suitable for kiddushin as an exchange can be done with something of very small value, and no woman would go along being sold so cheaply....

 following my comments from kiddushin 2 on the drawing process, I am using a very fine nib that gives a delicate line. Since this mesechet begins with money, and that marriage is an acquisition, I am using banknotes as an inspiration. The artwork on banknotes use very intricate patterns. I started with the 1 dollar bill, mainly for the line "In God We Trust" - I think many women go into traditional jewish marriage thinking this... and yet they can get trapped.

kiddushin 2

the paths that he must pursue to get the girl.
she has to lie there and wait to be taken, like a field.
and then she must wait for him to die, or leave her.
and then she is hers.









This is Mesechet Kiddushin, the section of Talmud that discusses how a man gets a wife. How he takes her to be his wife... this acquisition can be done in three ways (says the first mishna) by money, sex or document.... She is brought like a field. The mishna continues that she acquires herself in two ways, by him divorcing her, or by him dying. 

The last section Gittin was about the process of divorce, specifically the written divorce document called a get. So I concentrated on the writing, using a dip-pen from a beautiful calligraphy set given to me by the artists with whom I worked with in Venice. Also in that set was a nib shaped like a hand, with an extended finger. An echo of the gesture made by the bride when the groom gives her a ring under the chupah. It seemed like an apt drawing instrument to use for Kiddushin. The calligraphy set came with two inks, black and red. I used the black for gittin, so naturally I will use the red for Kiddushin. It's a gorgeous deep red, that turns goldish olive green if too heavy. The nib is extremely fine, and gives a very delicate line.

goodbye gittin

gittin 90

the pain and heartache of divorce
is felt on the altar where offerings are salted and burnt to God.

so don't burn and over-salt his food, especially if you are wife no.1.
because another, more beautiful, might catch his eye.

gittin 89

when the women who weave by the moon start talking about you -
that's when you should leave.
Until then, it's only whispers and echoes. 

gittin 88

will he? won't he? leave her.
his indecision that leads to rumours

is she... isn't she... divorced?
so should they...
shouldn't they...
force him?

gittin 87

one piece of paper
used to seperate two different couples

needs four witnesses
and a clear layout design.

gittin 86

how to write copy to sell a slave:
fit
unblemished
and belonging to no one except
their future master-owner

and how to write her seperation document
that will affect
her next master-husband.

gittin 85

while writing the document that changes her status - ignore any future change of status of others - and leave out the very ambiguous letter who can completely change the meaning.

gittin 84

giving away one's wife as a gift

there are more distasteful things (like pigmeat)
or assuming that she is your property.

gittin 83

the futility of arguing with a dead lion
how he, who no longer wants to be connected to her,
cannot break the connection.

gittin 82

when he tries to control his ex
starting with who she can
and can't
marry

her can't leave her alone
so she might end up alone.

gittin 81

he wrote it
but he didn't give it

- it's still there
and everyone can wonder what actually happened.

gittin 80

he makes the mistake
he writes the wrongs

and yet it is she
and her children
and her children's children
who are penalised?

gittin 79

using lost empires
kingdoms with no kings
she remains inside
hers inside his