Monday, 30 June 2014

ta'anit 9

R. Yohanan tried to reach out and connect to his lost friend's son, the son who needed no teacher just his mother to protect him from any fatal contact with his uncle, R. Yohanan.

so R. Yohanan teaches that rain comes to the individual. the lonely, solitary individual.

R. Yohanan's story gets me every time. The man who lost his chavrutah - study partner/intimate friend - due to an argument. His partner died before they were reconciled and R. Yohanan went mad with grief and loss. The story on this page about the son is so poignant with R. Yohanan's longing to connect with his old friend. but the son speaks of Torah that he can derive from the verses himself, without need of anyone else. and so R. Yohanan teaches that rain comes for the sake of a worthy individual... A few years ago I had a study partner, stuff was said that should not have been said.... long story short - no one has died, or gone completely mad (although some days I do question my sanity...) and yet there is no reconciliation, nor chance of one. and this saddens me. and I miss my old friend. and from time-to-time during this draw yomi I come across something I want to discuss with them, hear their particular take on it, and then I remember I can't. and so whilst there are other people to learn with,  I have also learnt not to depend on another, but to study on my own. 

1 comment:

  1. :-(
    you say it's too late, but maybe it isn't?
    what would happen if you just picked up the phone? seriously.........