this page discusses the ketubah payment to various women, based on their status as a virgin or non-virgin when married. And describes different sexual relationships. A minor girl and an adult man is apparently like "sticking a finger in the eye" and not sex. A minor boy and an adult woman is the equivalent of a woman being penetrated by a piece of wood - and it is discussed if this is a sexual act (something has happened) albeit not by another person. Childhood sexuality. Saying that nothing really happened to a girl, and reducing what has happened for the boy.... it's more than problematic.
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